Diconstruction #18: Patch 1.13 Feedback Impressions
Great news everyone, Diablo 1.13 is here! Everyone rejoice, for it is truly the savior of the world of Sanctuary! Time to get drunk and find “convenient” women to celebrate with, for all our troubles are over!
Wait, what’s that you say? The patch isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? Important things are missing, and irrelevant things were included? There isn’t actually life on Mars? This just will not do! Rouse the rabble!
The simple fact is that there are things people think are missing from the 1.13 patch, and there are things that were included that people don’t think should have been. But I’m not going to write about those things, for everyone else already is (if in the wrong places). No, I’m going to talk about what people are talking about when talking about the 1.13 patch.
Things, they’re… Missing… and such
First of all, there are some things I think people are seriously forgetting about. Things that are somewhat relevant to the whole “Blizzard patches Diablo or do they?” topic. Here are some of them, in the order in which I write them down:
If you remember back, the patch was actually delayed several months because of emergent issues with Warcraft III. So it didn’t take 8 months to build this patch, it took something like 3 months, and then 5 months of thumb-twiddling while things were handled elsewhere. And much drinking of miscellaneous non-alcoholic beverages.
Diablo 2 is ten years old. It’s almost a Tween. Or is it actually a Tween… I’m never really sure what years that word encompasses. Is it 10-12, or is it between 10 and 13 which would make it only 11 and 12? And what mental giant came up with that word anyway? …I lost my train of thought. It’s not a cop-out, the game IS 10 years old and we ARE lucky that Blizzard are still releasing patches for it. Name a single other game not released by Blizzard that received a patch of any type at this age. Go on, I dare you. If you find one, I’ll bet I can think of a hundred more that didn’t get one. I’m just that good.
The whole point of testing is so the community can provide feedback on the patch, and the development team can then take action on that feedback. If you think they missed something important, head over to the bug reporting forum and make sure there’s a thread about it there, and if there is such a thread, post in it to indicate you think it’s important too. Raise a fuss over it. The fact the patch is an open beta (just switch Realms) may be related to this. Or the Realms have started making babies.
Most game patches deal primarily with small stuff. In fact, with only one exception (I think it was a Tween patch… crap, now we’re back to this again. And what’s with all those 14 year old girls looking to get pregnant, anyway? That might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of), every previous D2 patch dealt primarily with small stuff, many of which were 100% irrelevant to the average player. It’s disingenuous to complain about it now.
Every list needs a 5.